OPINION EDITOR – MARIANA CHAMORRO
ORIGINALLY PRINTED ON FEB 2, 2023
The human identity is a beautiful, complex web with stories, traditions and backgrounds. A person’s identity is invisibly interlaced with their genetic code, providing a blueprint for what makes someone who they are. Identity and individual stories unite the perfect trinity of the lived human experience: the past, present and future. However, mixed identities can create confusion and blur the lines of who one truly is. My identity is half Russian and half American. The following story is largely personal.
My mom was born and raised in Kaliningrad, Russia. Kaliningrad is a quaint ex-German town, previously known as Knönigsberg, near Poland. She met my father, a U.S. Marine from Colorado, while he was touring Europe. Russia and the United States have always had a tense history, well before the Soviet Union fell. They married each other in Neuchâtel, Switzerland, on July 28, 1994. A joint union of a Russian and an American produced three children with dual identities.
Being raised in America as a half- Russian child, I had a unique blend
of American and Russian cultures. All three of us children spoke only English at home, while our mom gave us commands in Russian. Words like сидеть (pronounced: sidet, means to sit) or кушать (pronounced: kushat, means to eat) were used every day without thought. I grew up surrounded by a loving and welcoming Russian community. Every day Russian people are incredibly kind to all and love to make vast feasts for their guests; who they are or where they come from matters little.
I am incredibly proud of my heritage as a Russian-American. I identify and relate closely to my Russian side, having been to Russia four times and living there briefly at the age of 16. I had walked the same streets as Immanuel Kant and played on the same playground as a young child, like my mother did when she was a young girl in the Soviet Union. While there are many beautiful aspects to my identity, hardships exist. Russia has my heart, but recent events have created turmoil in my family.
Russia has a long, complicated history with its ruler, Vladimir Putin. He is corrupt, and Russian
citizens, including my grandmother, Valentina, do not condone his ways. While the war has been terrible for the entire world, it has been hard on the innocent Russian people who remained trapped in their country, my grandparents included.
The value of the Russian ruble has decreased drastically, and the economy is feeling the effects. My grandmother can barely afford to live on her salary alone. My family sends her money to help her as much as possible. Unfortunately, we can no longer send her money directly because of the war’s interference. We must send it to my mom’s friend in Vietnam as she has ways of getting it to her, but even then, it is not guaranteed. Many Russian citizens, such as my grandmother, cannot apply for a visa to visit, nor can we go to Russia. I have not seen her in over five years, and her health is declining. They restrict her from traveling to neutral countries, Turkey being the only place allowing her entry. The government heavily monitors her and many others; even mentioning the word “war” can lead to possible criminal repercussions.
I worry for my babushka’s safety, health and well-being every day; I cried on that terrible day of February 24, 2022. I had planned on seeing her that summer, but my plans to visit my grandmother were gone within seconds.
I never got to say goodbye to my great-grandmother, Duca. At the tender age of 92, she was a true warrior who survived Lenin, Stalin, World War 1, World War 2 and COVID. I had wanted to travel in the summer of 2022 to say my final goodbye to her. Vladimir Putin took that opportunity from me. She passed away in August 2022.
My heart bleeds for my family and the innocent Russians that are also victims of this war as well. As mentioned earlier, I love having a dual identity. Half my family exists in America and half of them are in Russia. That’s why I call my identity the asymmetrical butterfly-because it is beautiful, colorful, and vivacious but tilted, complex, and conflicting due to the conflict of the two vastly different countries. It is crucial that everyone comes together and remembers all the people affected by this war. It is not the Russian people to blame, but the government. They do not deserve different treatment just for being Russian.